Scared of Commitment? Don't Be.
By Elizabeth Barrera
After personal experience(s), and hearing my friends vent about their situationships countless times, I figured I would give this topic of “fear of love” one more shot. And it’s not going to be anything new, but more like me once again trying to knock some sense into your brains (and yes, my own as well).
Love is a scary four-letter word. Or so, many of you tend to think that it is. Trust me, I get it. Being vulnerable is scary, trusting someone else is scary, and commitment is scary. But it’s not so scary when you’re ready to cut the bullshit and give yourself a true chance at happiness. Just take a minute to think about all the beautiful things you can get out of a potential partner if you only gave each other a chance.
There’s room for beauty and ugly in every situation. It really all depends on the approach and outlook taken throughout the entire course. Do you want a failed relationship? Cool. Just neglect your partner, lash out for no reason, blame them for everything, be patronizing, and find every possible way to hurt them. Do you want a healthy relationship? Then do the exact opposite of all that.
There are so many awful people in this world for us to ignore those good ones who put up with our distorted ego and pride. We ignore those that protect and pray for our souls, and we ignore them over and over again because we know they’ll always be there. But it’s not fair to them.
I say all this to, one, remind you all that, yes, your reason for being a jerk could come from your fear of vulnerability, commitment, and trusting someone else, but that someone does not deserve this treatment whatsoever. And two, I say this to be your last source of help. You’re about to miss on one hell of a person (hopefully) because you’re afraid. And that’s just as sad as it is cowardly and pathetic. Imagine someone asking you “why/how did you lose her?”
Your response: I was afraid of being vulnerable, trusting her, and committing to her. So instead, I gave in to fear.
See how lame that sounds? Well I have a few suggestions for you. Swallow your pride, quit being a child, and don’t let her go. If you truly love her, then let love consume you, put your fears aside, and commit yourself to her entirely. Quit the “maybe in time” crap. She’ll take care of you. She’ll be there to protect you. She’ll give you love.
Love is a beautiful thing when you don’t take it for granted and when you allow yourself to be enveloped by it completely. I was once afraid, and to this day I still am. But if I allow my past experiences to take over my present and future, then I’ll continue closing doors and blocking my blessings. I will never know what a potential partner will have to offer me if I don’t give them and myself the opportunity of loving and being loved.
Let go of that fear and I promise you that you won’t regret it. Sure, you may be disappointed, and maybe it won’t all be beautiful. But you’ll learn and you’ll grow and that’s what’s important. You’ll remember what it feels like to love someone and to be loved in return. But you need to stop being afraid. Don’t play games because you’re afraid of commitment. And most of all, don’t be afraid of falling in love.