7 Things That Happen at Every Thanksgiving Dinner
By Thao Nguyen
Thanksgiving is a great time to reunite with family, reminisce about past times, and make new memories. But while there are new memories every year, some things seem to happen on repeat no matter what the date is on the calendar. Check out the 7 things that are guaranteed to happen at every Thanksgiving dinner you ever attend.
A guest will arrive ridiculously late, causing everyone who is already at the party to make snide comments until they arrive.
“I’m thankful for the gift of time. Specifically, my watch and the alarms on my phone, which help me arrive everywhere on time.” - Your dad, passive aggressively making jokes once dinner finally begins.
One of the dishes will be an experiment, causing everyone to fold their plates over and upside down before throwing them away.
“You can’t even tell I subbed applesauce for butter!” - Your aunt, who came over in athleisure and religiously follows Jamie Oliver.
Everyone will ask the perpetually single cousin about their relationship status, causing lots of forced smiles and hapless shrugs.
“You know, Thomas is your fourth cousin. There’s nothing wrong with that! He is single too, let me ask Aunt Maura about him.” - Your absolutely adorable grandma, who would be appalled at the very thought of Tinder.
All of the aunts and uncles will brag about their children, who will sit there and roll their eyes at each other.
“Oh, little Butternut has over a thousand followers on YouTube and Instagram. It’s a lot of work, but she’s just a natural at unboxing the toys we get her.” - Your aunt, who calls herself a mommy blogger.
Someone will fall asleep at the dinner table, only to wake up with a snort once the pies come out.
*Lawnmower noises* - Your sleeping uncle.
Gossip, gossip, gossip.
“Did you hear that Annie from your old high school is taking a gap year? They say it’s because she wants to travel, but I heard it was because she had a breakdown after she couldn’t make it past the audition stage of The Voice.” - Your mom, who hasn’t even ever met Annie from your old high school.
Overeating. To the point where you’ll throw up if you even see a piece of food afterwards.
“I think I’m going to throw up - OOH pie!” - Literally everyone at the party.