How to Filter Out Family and Friends
By Vanessa Palencia
There’s a common misconception that you have to keep certain people in your life just because they’re family or because you’ve known the person since second grade, but that’s not the case. Regardless of their familial or historical ties to you, if all that person does is put you down or bring negative vibes everytime they’re around, then you need to set some boundaries with them.
With holiday parties and family get-togethers at every corner, it can be difficult to avoid those unwanted family members and friends. If you’re non-confrontational, like I am, then you probably endure the pain of interacting with these kinds of people. You might think you’re being strong and being the bigger person, but you’re really just damaging yourself in the process. Nothing good ever comes from interacting with negative people. Your mental health and overall well-being is more important than hurting their feelings. I know that it’s never easy cutting ties with someone, and it’s especially more difficult trying to figure out where to start, so I’ve created a quick and effective guide that can help you take that next step to filter out family and friends and head into the new year surrounded by quality people that you love and care about. Because you deserve that. You deserve to start fresh.
If you’re not sure how to recognize whether a family member or friend is negatively affecting your life, then be sure to check out this article for a super quick reference guide. If you want a more detailed list and have time to sit down and read, then you definitely want to check this one out. Otherwise, here are the four best steps to filter out your family and friends for a healthier, more positive environment.
1. Talk it out
Sometimes this is the precise solution you need to clear up any miscommunications and misunderstandings. But other times, talking it out with the person will reaffirm their negative influence on you, but at least you’ll be informing them why you need to cut ties with them and not just leave them completely in the dark.
2. Let them go
If nothing changes after talking with them or you just really want this person out of your life, then let them go. This means blocking or unfollowing them on all social media platforms and on your cell phone. This also means not inviting them to your parties or get-togethers and even avoiding events where you know they’ll be at. It might seem extreme and like too much work, but ultimately, you’re protecting yourself and you need to put yourself first.
3. Stick with your decision
It can be really awkward avoiding someone, and the pressure to just let them back in your life might be great, but do not continue this vicious cycle. This is why it’s essential that you completely follow Step 2 above and erase all contact with the person, at least temporarily. Don’t let others guilt trip you into allowing those negative people back in your life and don’t feel bad for taking the necessary precautions to safeguard your mental well-being.
4. Find peace
This is one of the most important steps in the process. You need to find peace with your decision. You need to find solace in knowing that not everyone in your family or friends circle will be happy about your decision, but that’s okay. This decision wasn’t meant to make them happy but yourself. Once you find that inner peace, you’ll find that it’s much easier to stick to your decision and feel more confident that you did the right thing.