Crushes that Make You Cringe
by Polarity Staff
At Polarity, we are extremely happy that social media was barely existent when we were all in middle and high school...we would’ve become viral videos or memes for sure. But the past makes us who we are today, so we decided to share some of our most embarrassing crush interactions from our preadolescent years in honor of Valentine’s Day. A few of these stories were also taken from a survey we conducted on Reddit. Those have been edited for content. See the original Reddit post here.
Breaking up your cast to be with you. (Submitted by shinytortilla)
It's a very foggy memory but I recall being behind my crush, whom I adored, in line. He was in a cast, and as he was walking, some of it chipped off. I grabbed the piece that had fallen off and put it in a tiny box that had photos of him that I had collected. It somehow fell out of my backpack and his friend found it and showed him. He was shocked but laughing and it killed me.
The Balloon Incident
Every month, my school had mandatory pep rallies. I hated going to them, because I really hated being around people who were WAY too happy about being in a smelly old gym. But one thing I did like about these pep rallies was seeing my crush. Unfortunately, my flirting method was never showing interest in or even acknowledging this crush, so it never went anywhere. My best friend and I decided to “let go” of our crushes in the most symbolic way we could think of--by writing their names on a balloon at one of these pep rallies and letting it fly away. Too bad we were in a closed roof gymnasium, and the balloon wasn’t filled with helium. So instead of drifting away, it just bounced from person to person. Eventually it made its way to my crush (he had a very distinctive name) he looked at it in fear and popped it and my heart all in one motion.
Don’t Drink and Talk (Submitted by stormynyte)
I got exceptionally drunk and professed my love in front of everyone while crying, him included. I said it all right to him. After my insane blubbering outburst I went outside before anyone could say anything. Once my brain caught up to my mouth I was mortified and ran out. I'm sure they all thought I had lost my damn mind. I'm not the "talk about my feelings" type ever. That was when I understood why my dad said, “people in our family don't drink for a reason”. It was 25 years ago, and I still get embarrassed every time I see anyone who was at that party.
The Spanish Inquisition
I was pretty shy about approaching my crush, but one day the heavens smiled upon me, and my Spanish teacher paired me up with him for the remainder of the year. I tried to play it cool, but as soon as we did our assignment for the day, I started questioning him about all of his interests, activities, and class histories...things I definitely shouldn’t have known about yet because that was our first conversation ever. He asked for a new partner the next day.
Being Cool Is Pretty Hard, When You Memorize His Library Card
When I was in middle school, I had the biggest crush on a boy in my class. He had the prettiest eyes and he was such a huge flirt, which made me swoon even harder. I thought I was too cool to take actual electives like Yearbook or Photography, so I worked in the library organizing and checking the books out. When I realized my crush came in every Tuesday and Thursday, I started putting more effort into my looks and teaching myself how to flirt. However, one day, I went too far by memorizing his student ID number. He came into the library to check out a book and before he could even recite his ID, I told him he was all checked out. He looked uneasily at me and told me it was weird I had memorized his number and then walked away. My face turned red, and I sat there in utter embarrassment.
The Detention Slip
Once, when my crush got caught in class passing notes she received a detention slip and threw it away in rebellion. I grabbed it out of the trash can when no one was looking and kept it in my drawer for months.
The “Anonymous” Love Letter
When I was in sixth grade, I had this crazy obsession with a classmate. One of his friends made me write him an anonymous love letter, so I did. My friends and I watched him sitting on a bench with his friends, ALL reading my love letter. I had never seen such an embarrassed facial expression in my life. The worst part was when they all turned to look at me and starting walking toward me. I’m grateful the rest is a blur. Needless to say, I was rejected.
The Cabinet Debacle
During my first year in college, I had the biggest crush on this super cute and tall guy who lived in my building. One day, I saw him on my floor so I ran into my room to brainstorm a reason to talk to him. I figured I’d ask him to help me get something that was out of my reach. The only problem was that nothing was out of reach. I found my old phone and decided to put it in this super high, empty cabinet. But I couldn’t reach it, even with my desk chair. So, I stood on the chair and used a hanger to open it and then climbed up on my bed. I held the phone and took a deep breath. I jumped from my bed and chucked the phone up into the cabinet. Shockingly, I didn’t slam into the wall. I did however fall on my ankle, hard. I limped outside my door and at this point he was headed my way, towards the stairs. I jumped in his way and went “Hey! I need your height, come here.” He helped me get the phone and I had to make up some long story about why it was up there in that stupidly high cabinet; I don’t even remember what I said. It couldn’t have been good because he left right away. But I got him into my bedroom and my ankle healed eventually, so I’m still going to call it a success!
I had an exceptionally large crush on a friend of mine in high school. When I was choosing electives for the second semester, I decided to be the TA for his English class so I’d have a valid excuse to be near him all the time. Great idea, right? No! It ended up being an awful decision because, in the worst way possible, he found out about my crush just a month into the semester and stopped talking to me. I spent the next five months of the term watching him avoid eye contact with me. I definitely should have taken Journalism instead!