Stop Hurting Others Because You're Damaged

Stop Hurting Others Because You're Damaged

By Elizabeth Barrera

It’s hard to let go of someone you love. But it’s even harder to let them go because you’re the reason they’re hurting. It doesn’t make sense. How can you possibly damage a person you love? You create stories in your mind about how they’re deceiving you. You build walls to keep them out and react quickly when an action of theirs aligns with the stories you’ve created. Then reality strikes and you realize they were never trying to hurt you, they were never lying to you or deceiving you. You, on the other hand, were deceiving yourself, creating scenarios in your mind that never existed, all because of your insecurities.

You are damaged, and you are damaging others because you’re damaged.

It sucks, it’s never easy admitting you’re the one at fault. You were always so busy being damaged by others that you failed to recognize the minute you were doing the very same. But how was it ever okay to keep someone around because you knew they loved you while you kept playing games? When did it become easy to lie and blame them when things went wrong? For what reasons was stringing them along ever the right thing to do? Who told you that giving false hope was correct when you knew the answer all along?

You built a wall of lies that ended up destroying everything you once wished for.

Why?

I know, I know. You never meant to hurt anyone along the way. You were only trying to protect yourself, so you made mistakes. Stop crying and get yourself up and running. Focus on your career, focus on being great. Take morning walks and thank God for another sunrise. Say prayers for those you’ve hurt before you sleep, and be thankful that you’ve gotten through the day. Make people smile, be honest, be yourself, and love every portion of it. Give it your all –  don’t be afraid of falling. Every failure is a learning experience, but how can you even fail if you don’t try at all?

So you made a few mistakes, so you hurt others. Apologize, make an effort to fix those mistakes, fix yourself, and move on. You are one hell of a person, and you know it, so quit pushing yourself to the ground. Mistakes are inevitable, and while some are more unavoidable than others, they’re just another stepping stone.

Be happy.

I know it hurts, I do. You feel as if the floor beneath you is trembling, the sky above you is shattering, and nobody hears your cries. You think everyone is out to get you, and that they only want to hurt you, but you need to open your eyes and see the beauty around you. You need to smell the fresh air and take a deep breath. Your heart is shattering, I know. You’re longing for an embrace but find yourself alone, surrounded by four walls. You are your own compass. You choose the path you want to take. So get started and walk toward the trail you’d like to discover. Learn from all the harm you’ve done and learn to forgive yourself. You don’t have to hurt anymore.

Take chances.

Risk everything you have. Take proper measurements when doing so, as you don’t want to hurt any others along the way. Be kind and courteous. You are talented, ambitious, and badass. Don’t settle and don’t let yourself continue to hurt. Feel the pain and then move on from it. You have the strength; you have the power. Now use it.

The Importance of Communication in Dating

The Importance of Communication in Dating

The Problem Isn't Them, It's You

The Problem Isn't Them, It's You