The Problem Isn't Them, It's You

The Problem Isn't Them, It's You

By Thao Nguyen

All relationships - romantic, platonic, familial - require trust. Without trust, it’s easy to feel lonely, even when you aren’t alone. The inability to trust the people in your life ultimately leads to self-isolation, unnecessary anxiety, and broken relationships.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being wary of someone when it is deserved. It makes sense to be uncertain of someone who has betrayed you in the past. Being distrustful around people like this is a form of protection, avoiding future hurt. However, this stops being protection when suspicion wriggles its way into every aspect of your life. It becomes destructive when it causes you to suspect everyone in your life, even those who have done nothing but love and support you.

If those who have hurt you in the past affected you to the point that you believe you have to question everyone around you, you have a problem.There’s no sugarcoating it. The problem isn’t the people in your life - it’s you. You are letting your past make you feel unworthy of being respected and loved. Not every relationship has to come with an asterisk. Do not hold yourself back from letting someone love you fully. Do not be afraid of being vulnerable. You don’t have to hide the parts of yourself that others have tried to destroy. Not everyone in your life is looking to hurt you. Not everyone is laughing and talking about you behind your back. And the only way you can realize that is if you let go of the idea that you are someone that people can mistreat. Once that insecurity is gone, trusting people will come a lot easier.

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