Questions to Ask When You’re in the Dating Stages
By Elizabeth Barrera
With online dating being at an all-time high, and texts taking over face-to-face conversations, it’s becoming a little difficult to get to know someone on a personal level, especially when trying to determine their character. So we hit them with 21 questions via text when they could easily be asked in an in-person setting. Now, I’m not saying asking multiple questions is a bad thing, but are we asking the right questions? Or are we simply conversing with a stranger over a few drinks and some steak, talking about the Kardashians’ latest move?
Dating life is very similar to job interviews in the sense that you’re interviewing (getting to know the person through various dates) to potentially build a relationship with them (your goal to get the job). So, we continue to “interview” with multiple people but don’t necessarily get the results we want. Opening communication and truly getting to know one another can potentially reduce the amount of failed relationships, because you wouldn’t even bother dating someone who didn’t at least have the same morals as you, right? If you’re looking to really get to know the next person you date, think about asking more personal questions and less surface-level ones. Take for example the questions below:
1. Are you religious/do you believe in God?
This one can be a deal breaker for many people. Whether it be because they don’t believe in God or because they do, some people prefer someone who isn’t religious over someone who is and vice versa. It’s important to know if you’re on the same spiritual level as someone else or not trying to get there at all.
2. What values and principles are most important to you?
With this one, you’ll have a real sense of what their character is like and match it to yours. Their values and principles can be more focused on their personality, political and spiritual stance, and many other areas, so you’ll have plenty of room for conversation through follow-up questions.
3. What three qualities do you like about yourself and what three traits do you dislike?
I was hit with this one recently and I realized how harsh and superficial I was being with myself, and the lack of confidence I was portraying. When I asked the question back, I got a more mature and thought-out response (hence, the importance of being prepared when asking).This question can truly identify a person’s self-esteem and their willingness to better themselves.
4. What is your ultimate career goal?
Knowing someone’s professional goals is important on so many levels. You’ll learn the amount of time they’ll potentially have for you, and you’ll see whether or not they’re willing to make that time. You’ll also be able to identify to what extent their career goals match yours. Their ambition, self-betterment desires, and level of professional satisfaction will be revealed, just pay close attention.
5. What’s one thing you would change about yourself or your actions during your previous relationship?
This question should only be asked when you’re ready to talk about your past relationships as well. Through this one, perhaps you’ll learn about the mistakes that were made in the relationship and how much of the blame game your date plays, their preference in the “victim” role, and/or their willingness to admit their faults and express what they’ve learned.
Note: There really is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions, because not one person is exactly the same. Regardless of you wanting to use these questions or not, it’s important to ask as much as you can so you get to know them better and evaluate whether you’d like to see yourself with someone like them. Good luck!