Ways that Life isn’t a Disney Fairytale

Ways that Life isn’t a Disney Fairytale

By Vanessa Palencia

Ever since Walt Disney’s stories fell into my lap, I had always looked at life like it was an IRL fairytale. I believed that there was such a thing as Prince Charming, there was such a thing as true love, and there was such a thing as a ‘happily ever after.’ But then life happened. I grew up and reality hit me in the face. Unfortunately, I wasn’t donning a ball gown and I didn’t have birds flocking to me whenever I sang. In fact, the opposite happened. I was wearing a sweater and flip flops and birds screeched in horror whenever I tried to sing so much as a lullaby. (My singing repels nature.)

So for all you Disney dreamers, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but life isn’t a Disney fairytale. We are all in charge of creating our own futures. There isn’t a story already written out for you. And unless you’re engaged to Prince Harry, your future won’t include a magnificent castle. Here are some reasons why:

  1. There are no animals that will come to help you clean your room. It doesn’t matter how good of a singer you are, they won’t come. Even if you capture the mice in your basement, you will still have to clean.

  2. Your family isn’t royalty and you won’t be inheriting an enormous fortune anytime soon.

  3. There is no magic, no talking toys, and no fairy godmother. There are villains, but we call them enemies. In other words, you’re on your own. You can’t rely on Prince Charming to come riding in on a white horse. Think of life as a low-key Hunger Games.

  4. If you fall into a coma, a true love’s kiss can’t wake you up. Plus, with the amount of people on this earth, can you imagine how many lips would have to touch yours before you can find The One? So gross.

  5. Neverland does not exist. I’m sorry. You have to grow up. Yes, we can all stay kids at heart, but we have to be kids who pay bills, do laundry, and make our own food. Our playgrounds are also a bit different.

  6. You won’t inherit super powers. When Frozen came out in theaters, I idolized Elsa. She was pretty and could be strong and fierce if need be. She also had magical powers where she could freeze anything she touched. It was awesome. Nevermind that Elsa is a cartoon and nevermind that I was a 20-year-old fantasizing about being Elsa. Unfortunately, the only super powers I inherited are editing super powers. Shout out to all the grammar nazis!

  7. There won’t be lavish balls for you to find your true love. Unless, you throw your own ball of course, but that’s not cheap or foolproof.

  8. Not everyone finds true love. There are just so many people and so little time that sometimes we settle. Even if people find someone that they are madly in love with, it doesn’t always work out. What Disney movies don’t show us are the rough times, so we have this vision that love is always good and always positive. But we are human. We have pitfalls, and that’s okay.

  9. There is no such thing as beauty sleep. Especially if you’re in college or in a demanding job. Sleep is for the weak. That’s why coffee was invented, so embrace your racoon eyes and learn to appreciate the few naps you do take. If you really need sleep, then prepare to sacrifice your social life.

  10. Not all of us can hold on to our innocence and naivety as long as Rapunzel has. Unfortunately, not all of us have been locked up in a pretty tower shielded from all the evils of the world.
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