The Three Friends You Don't Need in Your Life
By Thao Nguyen
I recently wrote about letting go of friendships that have fizzled out. And while those lost friendships may have been a sad side effect of growing up, there are some friendships that should be terminated out of necessity. The truth of the matter is that there are some friends that are unworthy of the title. Bad friends can be a source of toxicity and extreme stress in one’s life. They can lead to lower self-esteem and self-worth and even self-enforced isolation. So if you find that your friends, or even you yourself, have the traits of the bad friends listed below, it’s time you reevaluate things. Either confront them (or yourself) about those traits, or drop them from your life.
The Unempathetic One
This person is the hardest one to recognize. The unempathetic friend will give you the impression that your feelings don’t deserve affirmation or attention by not paying any mind to your complaints or concerns. Empathy doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but when someone never makes an effort to show concern or try to make you feel better when you’re struggling, it can get really toxic. You start to second guess your emotions, maybe I’m overreacting, maybe problems aren’t that bad. As a result, you try to act happy and content around this person all the time instead of opening up to them. Don’t let anyone make you think your feelings aren’t valid or important and don’t let anyone get away with brushing your feelings off either.
The Jealous One
This person takes cynicism and snarkiness to a whole new level. They find a reason to rain on your parade no matter how good things are going for you. A jealous friend will try to cut you down whenever something good happens to you and will say things to make you feel guilty for having it good. A true friend will be happy with you even if things aren’t going well for them. The risky thing about jealous friends is that they can turn malicious and even try to convince you to not go after your desires and dreams. Replace this friend with a supportive one; nobody needs a succubus around their neck!
The Flakey One
“Flakey” should be an adjective reserved for pastries. This person consistently cancels plan at the last minute for vague reasons, never shows up to your important events, but gets upset when you do the same to them. This person clearly values their time more than your companionship. If someone cares for you, they’ll make the time to see you and make a concerted effort to stick to those commitments. Yes, life can be crazy and busy, but if someone is constantly blowing you off or canceling plans, they aren’t worth your time.