Nobody Is Ever Too Busy, It's Bullsh*t
By Elizabeth Barrera
If anyone ever tells you that they’re too busy for you, then I’m sorry to say that they probably don’t care about you. Okay, maybe that was a little aggressive. How about this: you’re most likely just not on their priority list. Sure, there will be special circumstances when they are legitimately super busy, but all the time? And by busy, I mean that they have 3 jobs they have to attend to throughout the 24 hours of the day, they’re a parent, or a doctor on call with a side gig....but that’s all very extreme though, right? So when someone tells you that they’re really busy, they probably get off of work at 5 or 6, they’re home by like 7ish, and 8-10 are really the only hours they have available (assuming that this person has a 9-5 job). They may have to do additional work once they’re home, so those two hours at the end of their day are really spent relaxing and unwinding. But they’re still two hours of freedom. So, realistically, they're capable of meeting with someone within that time frame. Of course, each situation will be different depending on the case and the person. You can't place the same amount of accountability on someone who is in a healthy mindset as you are to one who does. In this case, we'll stick to those with a healthy mindset.
Let’s take me, for example. Right now I have Polarity to work on, I have my full-time job to worry about, and I occasionally contribute time to my sorority. I spend a total of about 16 hours per day doing those things. That means I only have 9 hours of my day left, and those hours are usually spent sleeping. However, when I do care about someone, and I mean really, really care about them, or I’m interested in getting to know them, then I’ll postpone one of my events or I’ll reduce the amount of time I’m working on Polarity, and I’ll add that one or two hours to this person who wants to see me. Why would I do that knowing that I’ll have more work to do the next day? Simple.
When you care about somebody enough, you’ll do whatever it takes to see them. And it can be anybody, it doesn’t have to be a significant other, or a person you’re looking to date. It doesn’t have to be anything romantic at all. It can be your friends, your family, even your pet. You can check in every once in awhile with someone and say “hey, how’s your day going,” “how are you doing” or “hey, I didn’t get to respond yesterday because of XYZ”. They’ll understand, because they’ll know about everything that’s going on in your life, or at least they should because you care about them. But you should also make time for them because that’s the only way to show somebody that you really care about them. Yes, you may be busy, but we all are.
As a busy person myself, I know that if I want to keep that spark alive between my friends, family, or significant other, than the only way to do so is by seeing them, communicating with them, and staying in touch with them. If we decide to always just say “I’m too busy” in the beginning stages when dating somebody, for example, what makes you think that they’ll want to stick around long enough? They won’t. Because all they’re going to keep hearing is “I’m too busy” and nobody wants to hear that. Humans are naturally drawn to attention. Whether it be from your friends, your family, or a significant other. We want to know that people care about us just as much as we care about them. People tend to stick by our side when they see that we care enough about them also. Because why waste time caring about you when you won’t care about them?
So try to put in some effort and try to pay attention to how you’re treating people. If you really care about them, no matter what you’re going through, don’t disregard them. Don’t think that because you’re going through a sticky situation, they’re going to keep putting up with that bullshit. You don’t know what they’ve gone through either.
If you see that you have a good person by your side, don’t let them go. Good people are hard to come by. Everyone is so protective and guarded nowadays. Nobody is really opening themselves to show who they truly are, so if someone ever opens up to you, appreciate them. Let them know that you’re there and that you care for them. It’s not always about you and how busy your life is. Sure you may have a million stories to tell about your trip to Brazil, and how you just closed a deal with a big-name company while you were out in Singapore. Yes, they’re interesting stories to hear, but don’t always talk about yourself. Ask them how they’re doing. Be transparent. Let them know you’re busy, but still have time for a 10-minute phone call. That call will mean so much to them, trust me. Let them know you care about them, let them know you’re thinking of them, and be there for them. 10 minutes is not a long time. It’s doable.
All I’m saying is that if you truly care for someone and want to keep a relationship alive, then you’ve got to put in the work. Otherwise, someone else will do it for you, and it’s harder going back from there. You are only as busy as you make yourself out to be. And ultimately, it’s your choice to make.
But if you’re “too busy” to make time for them, keep in mind that they’ll know. That’s also when they’ll realize that even they don’t have time for bullshit.