The Difference between a Boy Who Ain’t Shit and a Man Who Isn’t Perfect

The Difference between a Boy Who Ain’t Shit and a Man Who Isn’t Perfect

By Elizabeth Barrera

A friend sent me a meme earlier this week that said “Know the difference between a boy who ain’t shit and a man who isn’t perfect.”

After exchanging opinions and using Usher’s “U Remind Me” and NeYo’s “Miss Independent” as references, we essentially broke it down to this: a boy who ain't shit is someone who isn’t concerned with honesty or loyalty, and doesn’t care to provide the best for a woman. He’s a boy who is only concerned with playing games with one, two, three, four, five women - who’s essentially leading us on without actually trying to build anything serious with any one woman at all.

A man, on the other hand, will also have his flaws. The difference is that his flaws will represent honest mistakes of a mature man. A man is emotionally mature, and knows better than to break a woman down. Instead, he strives to make a woman happy, says things how they are, and strays from playing games.

A mature man will always go that extra mile for you and work on making you grow and help you become a better version of yourself. He’ll help you always reach the goals you want to reach because he’ll want you to do the same for him. A man will focus on helping you embrace your flaws rather than faulting you for them all the time, and leverage those flaws to become a better version of yourself. If you’re stubborn and anxious, he’ll teach you ways to be patient, empathetic, to essentially become better and to grow. A boy won’t.  

A boy will always be selfish and about himself. He won’t care how your day went, he won’t care what happened with your boss today, and if it’s affecting you by the end of the week. He won’t care about those things because he’ll only care to be the one listened to. He’ll only care about what’s affecting him, not how he’s affecting others. A mature and real man will never do that to you. He’ll make time for you and will care to listen about your constant worries. He’ll make time to be there for you, to fix things with you, and to never let a petty argument break you.

A mature man will know when to swallow his pride and apologize for the mistakes he’s made.  A mature and grown man will know what a woman wants and needs. And if he doesn’t know, he knows to ask. A boy doesn’t care, a boy won’t ask. Nor will he care to text you asking how your day went. A boy will not be there to advise you, to empathize with you, or to help guide you. A boy will simply be a boy. He won’t want to learn, he won’t want to grow, and he won’t want you by his side.

A boy aint shit, it’s true.

And a man isn’t perfect.

The lines aren’t blurry. So learn, see, and admit when you’re dealing with a boy versus when you’re dealing with a man. A man will show effort. A man will show concern. A man will show care and empathy. He will show love. A boy will show confusion, hesitation, insecurities, and lack of self-expression.

That’s the difference.

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