Free Your Mind, and Good Vibes Will Follow
By Thao Nguyen
There’s been a huge movement in the last few years towards decluttering and minimalism. Along with this movement has been a push for mindfulness and self-care. This time, I’m going to combine the two movements, and write on how we can declutter our minds as a form of self care. We’ve written quite a few times on self-care here at Polarity, and I’m excited to touch on it again. If you’d like to help clear up your brain, read more on the steps I’ve used to purge my mind below.
We all have regrets, and oftentimes it’s regrets and mistakes that shape who we are today. However, fixating and holding onto remorse can become really heavy and unhealthy. Swallow your pride and apologize to those that you’ve done wrong. I recently reached out to a boy that I had wrongfully yelled at in high school. He had broken my best friend’s heart, and I thought that it was my job to make him feel as guilty as possible. At first, I had felt so powerful and vindicated. Score one for girl code! But as time went by, shame set in. He hadn’t done anything wrong for ending a relationship that was going nowhere. So five years after successfully avoiding him (our friend groups intersect in a few places), I reached out and apologized. It was awkward and difficult, but I felt this huge weight lift off my shoulders. Repenting for past wrongs will bring you a lot of peace; I highly recommend doing it when possible.
Let Things Go.
On the opposite side of the spectrum of making amends is letting things go. This involves forgiving people for all the times they’ve mistreated you. I’m not suggesting you become a total doormat and let people off the hook every time they hurt you. Letting things go means ridding yourself of old grudges that have debilitated your current situations. Some of you may remember the ex-best friend who became my bully in middle school. I held onto my resentment towards her for years. Longer than the situation deserved and this absolutely affected all of my relationships in the time between when it occurred and when I finally forgave her. But when I did eventually forgive her, I was able to see the world in an entirely new way. It may sound like I’m exaggerating, but I promise you I am not. Holding onto grudges doesn’t do anybody any good. Move on and move ahead. The best revenge is living well.
Forget the Future.
A major source of anxiety for me was worrying about the future. I was always playing out every possible scenario for every choice I had to make. Every plan had three backup plans. I labored over decisions and spent ages worrying that I made the wrong one once all things were said and done. It’s safe to say that worrying about the future took up a lot of real estate in my brain. But then I made the decision to spend less time mulling over things that were out of control. I tried to focus only on the present and on the immediate future. Once I did that, a lot of my anxiety was alleviated. Of course, there is merit in preparing for the future, but there really is no logical reason to become fixated on controlling every possible outcome in your life. Accept that some things won’t go your way no matter how well prepared you are, and your mind will begin to feel a lot lighter.