How to Know When to Give Up in a Relationship
By Elizabeth Barrera
Staying isn’t always the best solution and walking away is never easy. However, giving up in a relationship is sometimes the best thing to do - for ourselves and for our partners. It’s one of the hardest, most crucial choices we can make.
Things get difficult when you have a “ride or die” or “never give up” mentality. You’re there till the end, no matter how hard it gets, because loyalty is in your character. You’re not used to taking the easy way out and calling quits. It’s not in you to give up, because it’s something you’ve never done. It gets rough and confusing. What exactly do you do when it hurts to leave but it hurts just as much to stay?
It’s hard to say.
But if the idea of giving up has ever crossed your mind, then chances are that you’ve been given good reason to think this way. Sure enough, relationships aren’t always perfect, nor will they ever be. They have their highs and their lows, but if there have been too many lows in comparison to highs for far too long, then you need to seriously reconsider your choices. So I suggest you ask yourself this question: are you giving more than you’re receiving? Do you feel as though your effort is maximizing itself while you’re receiving the short end of the stick? Does it feel as though all the blame is put on you, but they can’t seem to take ownership of their own faults?
If the relationship is no longer making you happy, if the bad times outweigh the good times, and you’re crying more than you’re smiling, then I think it’s time to walk away.
You can promise to make a bigger effort, to show them you love them, and be a better person for them, but if they aren’t showing you the same amount of effort and are instead only placing all the blame on you without taking any responsibility for their actions, then what exactly are you doing by sticking around?
Are you harming yourself by staying or are you improving in any way? Are wounds healing or are you only damaging your future self even more?
It’s hard to walk away after two, three, four years, I know. Hell, it’s hard to walk away period. But if you’re truly hurting and not becoming a better person by being with them, then you need to ask yourself if you’re making the right decision by sticking around. Would your family accept the way they treat you? Do your friends like them? Would your children look up to them? Can you even see a future with them?
If you answered “no” to any of those questions, then you need to ask yourself why. Why would your family and friends not accept them? Why would your children not look up to them? Why can’t you see a future with them?
Most importantly, you need to ask yourself why you are accepting this.