Trust is Not Stupid
By Thao Nguyen
Trustworthiness. Aside from communication, it’s one of the most important things in a relationship. But it seems like with modern dating, it is certainly hard to come by. Everywhere I look, my friends are being played, people are being cheated on or strung along, and very few people seem to be able to trust their significant other.
Maybe it’s the ease of meeting other people that social media, dating apps, and other technology gives us, or maybe we really have gotten to a point that we no longer respect each other that makes people more likely to do untrustworthy things. Regardless of what the cause is, it is a sad state we’ve gotten ourselves into. One thing that makes me particularly upset about the lack of trustworthiness in dating nowadays is the fear of looking foolish.
See, the problem is when we trust someone we shouldn’t have, the perception is that we are dumb for ever letting our guard down around that person. In other words, we’re stupid for trusting them. We’re hard on ourselves for believing in someone who ended up hurting us, and it takes us way too long to see that the real stupid person was the one who was misleading and untrustworthy. Then because of the betrayal of this person, we’re afraid to ever trust anyone again for fear of looking dumb.
Here’s the deal. I completely believe that it is okay to be wary at first. Trust is earned not given. My parents drilled that into my head my entire childhood, and as much as I hate to admit it, they’re right. However, there is nothing dumb, stupid, or foolish about trusting someone. If they end up betraying that trust, that’s on them, not you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to believe the best of people and think that people aren’t inherently bad.
Unless the signs of their deception were glaring and obvious, and you chose to ignore them, you did nothing wrong. You were not wrong for trusting them. They were wrong and senseless for taking that trust and letting it go. So here’s my request. Go out and don’t be afraid to trust people. It hurts having that betrayed, but I’d much rather know that I tried to see the good in someone than live in constant pensiveness with my guard up. Trust is a beautiful thing, and knowing that someone has trust in you is an amazing feeling. Perhaps if this was a feeling that more people were able to experience, trustworthiness will be the norm again.