Home is Where the Heart is: How to Find Peace Within
By Vanessa Palencia
Last February, I wrote one of the most profound, heartfelt, and anxiety-inducing posts ever, “Finding Home.” In that piece, I touched base with the emotions and troubles I went through as a single mother who recently entered a serious relationship and faced a slight disturbance at home because of it. At the time, I felt so lost and so stressed out. I felt uncomfortable and unsupported and prayed everyday for the feeling to go away. I wanted to find peace within myself, but I knew that whether I liked it or not, my course had been altered for better or for worse.
Here I am almost a year later and I’ve learned so much. I’ve conquered the fears that paralyzed me and I’ve found a new sense of independence. But with those learning experiences and this new life, I’ve also come face to face with a new obstacle course full of insecurities, waves of emotions, and homesickness. I never expected any of that. I had believed that once I completely reached ‘adulthood’ by moving out and started raising my family on my own that the rest of life’s little blubbers would be just that. But it isn’t.
You see, life isn’t one big present that you open up and overcome everything in one sitting. No. It’s a series of presents that you keep getting at random times to test and strengthen your character, like a monthly subscription that you can’t break from. You can either choose to let go of all hope or continue to see the brighter side of things. I don’t know about you, but I choose to see the positive, and I want that for you, too. However, focusing on the positive and keeping your head up during trying times can be very difficult. You’ll understand what I mean if you’ve been through tough times before. This is why it’s crucial that you find inner peace. You need to feel comfortable in your own skin and feel at home with the person that you are because if you aren’t, then when trials and tribulations come knocking on your door, it can be very easy to lose yourself in the process, which is (in my opinion) the greatest pain of all.
So how do you do that?, you ask.
Be okay with failure
We’re all so afraid to fail. We all want our dreams and goals to happen, but through that desperate desire to make things work, we become harsh with ourselves. We pin our level of worth to the success of our dreams, so when they fall, so do we.
Let go of negativity
Whether negative energy resides in your head, heart, or in the people you surround yourself with, you need to let go of it. It can be easy to harbor negative feelings when life gets rough, but just know that holding on to anger, guilt, or grudges won’t benefit you or get you where you want to go in life. And if the people you associate yourself with are constantly in a negative state of mind, try to encourage them to let go of their pessimistic way of living by doing things that make you happy and positive. If they remain stubborn to stay where they’re at, then it’s time to let them go because those kinds of people will only bring you down.
Find your beautiful spirit
We could all benefit with getting more in touch with our spiritual self, whether that’s with our specific religious affiliation or simply understanding ourselves better by becoming more aware of our thought processes and feelings and increasing our levels of positivity and gratefulness. This process of finding your true inner beauty can be done in various ways (i.e. journaling, meditating), so just find what fits your lifestyle.
Release pent up energy in a safe place
We’re human, so of course we’re going to get angry, we’re going to get frustrated and want to cry, but sometimes yelling at the nearest person within our vicinity or punching the walls won’t help the matter, and you’ll most likely dig yourself deeper. It’s important to find a place where you can release that energy and clear your head so that you can allow positive thoughts and vibes to enter and restore peace within you. My safe place is the gym and my journal. You might find that something as simple as a walk in the park or a quick yoga session can help.
Spread peace and love to others
Teach what you practice. It helps others, but it also helps you further understand the positive impact peace and love can have on your life.