An Open Letter to Those Actively Searching for Love
By Elizabeth Barrera
Finding love in this day and age can be quite difficult, especially if we missed the dating bus in college that had a wide dating pool range. All we’re left with now are people who are jaded and afraid to love again. Sure, there are a handful of good men and women out there who match our loving capabilities, but for one reason or another, they’re not necessarily the ideal match.
For this reason, we hold onto friends with benefits relationships, situationships, relationships with no titles, and God knows what else that’s out there that I haven’t even heard of yet. We become either complacent or afraid to let go of the little that we have in fear that we will be left with nothing. Or perhaps we just don't know what we want that we decide to keep a few people around who will fill the attribute that the other one lacks in. However, none of this is right. Am I judging you for doing it? Of course not. But there's always a way to make things better, for ourselves, and for those on the same boat as us.
So I’ve got a few requests:
To all my single friends out there who are actively searching for love - stop.
For those of you living in fear that you will never find the love of your life - stop.
To all of you swiping endlessly on dating apps and later lying in bed with Tinder date #2, hoping that maybe this time things won’t go south - stop.
For those of you desperately asking your friends to play matchmaker - stop.
To those of you forcing a relationship - stop.
Trust me that I understand you all when you say that being single is difficult. Or that leaving your situationship is hard because you’re so in love with them. That swiping left and right on Tinder and Bumble are your only means of meeting people. Or maybe even that you’re so heartbroken, that you need to find a rebound ASAP. I hear you. But listen to me.
Please. Stop. Looking.
Searching for love is draining, especially when that becomes your ultimate focus and sole purpose during your free time. Let that sh*t go. Let love find you instead. And when love does find you, please believe that this love will be sincere. Remember that no man or woman who loves you would ever intentionally hurt you, break your heart, or make you cry. Your weaknesses will be their weaknesses, and their strengths will become your strengths. They’ll help build you rather than destroy you. They won’t find amusement in confusion regarding relationship titles, delay in commitment, or make excuses as to why you can’t be together right now. You will be able to count on them to lift you up when you’re feeling low, to give you strength when you’re feeling weak, and to fight tirelessly when you can’t find hope. Your pain will become their pain, and never will they find joy or power from seeing you hurt. This is love and this is what you will feel when love has found you.