7 Self-Care Acts to Help You Recover From Valentine's Day
By Vanessa Palencia
As an internationally recognized holiday that celebrates love by showing affection to someone you care for or are attracted to, it’s hard not to feel a little hateful towards it when you feel unwanted or unloved, even the day after. I know, because I’ve been there. For those of you who aren’t familiar with my story, I was single long enough to drive myself crazy. I was at a point in my life where I romanticized the notion of being a crazy cat lady later on in my years and convinced myself that love didn’t really exist. I really started to believe that love was an illusion that somebody made up to instill senseless hope in us. Such a gloomy perspective, isn’t it?! And it was that very excuse, or belief, that I consistently referred to in order to justify the head games I played with the various guys I expressed interest in. But the thing is, you can never justify your actions when they stem from a sour mindset, especially when it comes to dealing with someone’s heart. That’s precisely why I’m advocating for Valentine’s Day to be a celebration of self-love. Because before we can learn to love someone else unconditionally, we need to first love ourselves completely. So let’s redirect all of that negative energy lingering around from yesterday and turn it into something more positive: self-care.
Allow yourself to feel hurt
We’re human. We’re emotional creatures, so we’re going to feel bitter about certain things and that’s okay. As much as it would be nice to stay happy 24/7, it isn’t normal. But it also isn’t normal to wallow in self-pity and self-hatred. Recognize that you are hurt over being alone, but also realize that tomorrow is another day and that there are so many beautiful things you can appreciate and give attention to. Once you understand where the bitterness is coming from, you’ll be able to move forward and revert to being content and appreciative.
It’s never too late to show yourself some love and affection. V-Day is supposed to be about showing love to someone you care about. It never said it had to be someone else!! It can totally be all about you. Remember, self-care is not selfish, so go ahead and pamper yourself in the best way you know how! My favorite way of pampering myself is getting my nails done, taking a bath, or even getting a coffee at a cute coffee shop!
Read a book
I think we all tend to underestimate the power that comes from reading a book. I’m a huge proponent for reading self-help books, but if you’re more into fiction, then that’s cool too! Reading can be extremely therapeutic for the soul, which may be exactly what you need right now.
Be happy for others
I know this sounds so cliché and overrated, but it’s extremely important. Think about it. Every second you spend feeling bitter about someone else’s happy and successful relationship is another second you allow all that negative energy to come rushing back in. In fact, there’s a favorite quote of mine by Elie Tahari that goes, “whatever energy you put out there, that’s the energy you’re going to get back.” So naturally, if you focus on hating on those couples, you’ll wind up internalizing and harboring all that negative energy. Trust me, that’s not what you want. This is why you it’s crucial that you refer back to the first step of allowing yourself to feel hurt. But then take the necessary steps to recognize your feelings and understand that you’re just hungering for that kind of relationship. After going through that process, you might just find yourself appreciating the love that couples show.
Focus on the good
If you focus on the bad, you’re going to find it. Likewise, if you focus on all the good things going on in your life, you will find it, too. So take some time to think about all the things you have in your life that you’re grateful for and all the meaningful relationships you’ve built. Whatever it is, just focus on the good.
Move your body
As much as I love the idea of laying in bed or sitting on the couch all day, I’m never able to do it because my body starts to ache and feel all sorts of horrible. Your body is a vessel that was made to move! So move it! Whether that’s in the form of walking, cleaning the house, or heading to the gym, make sure that you move your body. You’ll feel much better after doing that.
Look for opportunities
Just recently, my partner wrote a quote that goes, “opportunities, unlike doorknobs, must be seized with both hands.” I immediately fell in love with it because it’s so true! You can’t have one hand in the water waiting for an opportunity, because when it comes it can slip through your fingers. So I challenge you to actively look for opportunities and prepare to seize opportunities that come your way with both hands.
These are only a few self-care acts that I implement in my own life, but if you have other ideas/routines that you would love to provide and potentially help someone else, then please leave a comment below! Your voice matters!