A Guide to Swerving Creeps in Your DMs
By Izamar Flores and Thao Nguyen
Your future child: “Hey Mom? How did you and Dad meet?”
You: “Well, honey, it all started when he slid into my DMs on March 13, 2018.”
The chances of the conversation above happening in the future is highly unlikely. As much as the romantics in us would love to think that DMs can lead to true love, more often, they can lead to cringing and screenshots sent to a group chat. If you find yourself struggling to respond to unsolicited messages, then look no further! We’ve created a guide to help you fend off even the most persistent of “communicators.”
Keep in mind that sometimes the best way to deal without an unwanted person in your DMs is to be direct, or to ignore them/leave them on read. But if you absolutely MUST respond, then check out our suggestions below.
Them: I like your pictures. Can you send me some you haven’t posted?
You: I like being left alone. Can you make that happen?
Them: *sends you photos of furniture* I’m moving into your DMs.
You: You have to pass a background and credit check to even get past the lobby here. And you definitely wouldn’t pass.
Them: Are you single?
You: No, I’m plural.
Them: Your photos showed up in my discovery page and I think you’re gorgeous.
You: Your message showed up in my inbox and I think you’re creepy.
Them: You look good. I look good. Let’s look good together.
You: I’d rather go blind.
Them: Can you send me nudes?
You: Funnily enough, I’m currently getting naked.
Them: Can I see?
You: Sure…*picture of you holding Naked Juice*
Them: What’s your favorite position?
Them: Are you horny? Because I am.
You: I don’t go for demons. Be gone, Satan!
Them: I just came here to let you know I think your selfies are amazing.
You: Go back from whence you came, foul beast!
Them: I like you.
You: I like eggs.
You: I like eggs.
**just keep spamming them with this**