Misconceptions About Self Love

Misconceptions About Self Love

By Vanessa Palencia

I don’t know about you, but I’m done with the media telling us that we need to keep fixing ourselves. Thankfully, there are loads of self-love communities popping up everywhere rebelling against mainstream media ideals and spreading messages about how we can regain the confidence we once had as kids. Because believe it or not, we weren’t born hating ourselves or feeling uncomfortable in our own skin. No, that’s the byproduct of many years of brainwashing from commercials and magazine ads that bombarded us with the idea that we needed to be fixed before we could finally love ourselves.

But with so many people sharing their unique self-love journey, the platform has become crowded and many have become confused as to what self love really means. Since the definition can vary a bit from person to person, the path towards ultimate self love can get a little hazy, so I've decided to clear it up a bit by clarifying what self love doesn’t mean. As always, if you have anything else you’d love to add, comment them below! 

Self love means you’re vain

There’s a difference between thinking that you’re the hottest thing around and making everyone else feel less than versus loving your reflection in the mirror after so many years of hating it. Looking in the mirror constantly because you’re finally at peace with your body and dressing up more because you want your external to match your internal growth is not something we should condemn.

Self love means loving every part of yourself

Maybe you do or maybe you don’t. But if you don’t, then don’t sweat it, because self love doesn’t mean doing a complete 180 and loving every aspect of yourself completely overnight. Self love is about being kind to yourself and accepting yourself. It’s about being your best friend and treating yourself with the utmost respect, whether you feel like it or not. Show up for yourself, rebuke every harsh comment with a positive one, and realize that you are worthy no matter what. You’ll feel such a difference!

Self love means feeling confident every single day

Confidence isn’t something we’re born with, it’s a skill that we learn, but it’s also a choice. We can choose to be confident or not, and while it’d be phenomenal to always be confident, we’re also human. Sometimes we won’t have the energy to muster up confidence for the day. So if your energy levels are really low, then take a day to rest and replenish yourself. Remember, self love is more about choosing to be confident more frequently than choosing to let yourself be self conscious.

Self love is a straight road to recovery

It’s actually not. Don’t forget, we are fighting years of brainwashed messages and replacing our existing paradigm. So it can be really hard to stay straight on our path towards complete self love. But don’t let this deter you. Do the best you can and let every set-back motivate you to keep going forward. Focus on the end goal: to break free from the grasps of all negativity that you have placed on yourself and move into complete loving energy.

Self love means you have to strip down

I’ve seen so many self love influencers strip down or wear minimal clothing to expose their skin in the name of self love. But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to do that. If you feel called to show some skin to liberate yourself and represent your body type, then that’s completely fine, but just know that self love is about loving who you are. There’s no need to strip down to show the rest of the world that you finally love yourself, so don’t feel pressured.

Let me know if listing these common misconceptions about self love helped you gain a better idea of how to love yourself. There's really no set formula, so just listen to your heart and do what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. The rest will fall into place. 

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